Ever been in an argument? Why did you participate? What was the outcome? Were you pleased with the outcome?
Most arguments I’ve ever witnessed or been a part of take place for the wrong reasons—to prove someone wrong or prove oneself right. Most are petty, nonsensical, and usually do no good. When it’s all said and done, both parties walk away just as angry or angrier than they were. Why is that? Arguments are usually about a person (you or someone else) rather than the problem.
When I think of the word argue, I think of the following: angry, vitriolic, hateful, destructive rather than constructive.
Pride. Unless you allow yourself to be wrong, you can’t be proven wrong—you’ll always be right. Unfortunately, many will hurt to prove themselves right.
I propose we change that.
Make it about the problem and not about the person.
Marriage has taught me a lot but specifically that my wife and I don’t agree on everything (gasp), and I hate being wrong.
When I don’t allow myself to be wrong, it hurts my wife and our marriage the most. When I allow myself to be wrong, our marriage and I benefit the most. Even better, I don’t hurt my wife with hateful words.
The outcome of an argument is drastically different when at least one party is willing to be wrong. When both parties are willing to be wrong, the reward is far greater. Why? Instead of focusing on being right, they’re more focused on finding a solution to the problem. By the time both have agreed on a solution, who cares who was wrong or who was right?
Reconcile in disagreement, focus on the problem, and do it with love and respect.
I don’t seek advice or counsel unless I’m willing to change. I don’t expect myself to take every piece of advice I get, and I’m careful and selective about who I go to for advice, but I’m in full agreement with myself that something needs to change and I’m willing to make the necessary changes.
Sometimes it’s better to be wrong even when you know you’re right.
Pride has influenced me to do some pretty stupid things and say some pretty hateful things all in the name of “being right.” Was it worth it? Nah. In fact, I was an idiot.
If you catch yourself in an argument and you know you’re not willing to be wrong or you sense the other party isn’t willing to be wrong, kindly bow out—It’s not worth it.